There are always two sides to a story and again there is always the other view. We often stand by how we feel but often neglect to see things from a different view. Take boy meets girl and they date. Now boy is invited to go out for drinks with his mates and wants to do this more than another date with the girl. So boy goes out for a guy’s night out. Girl gets angry because, well girl gets angry. Boy doesn’t understand why because he chose his mates and not her.
In one view the girl thinks why and is angry. The boy thinks why is she angry? Girl thinks boy will see another girl and boy thinks he can look at any girl.
It is always the emotion which gets caught up with reason. The boy does nothing wrong and yet he is wrong according to the girl.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Then you have another situation. You have a friend who you hang out with and that friend gets invited by another friend to lunch. As you would guess it is not up to the invited friend to extend an invitation to the hang out friend because, well it was not your initial invite. The hang out friend gets furious because this friend feels left out and becomes angry with other hang out friend who was innocently lunching with another friend.
It gets complicated doesn’t it? It is hard to remain logical if you are the person left out and yet it is very logical to the person making an alternate choice. This often calls in loyalty when in fact it is juggling between comrades.
I think the essence of this is to acknowledge that everyone has other people they know and without it being a case of dumping or disloyalty that everyone has the choice to hang out with different people.
We often forget we don’t own the other person regardless of whether it is a marriage, relationship or close friendship. Everyone should feel free to make choices without the fear of the jealous monster rearing its head.