Marriage does not mean you must sleep in the same bed nor does marriage dictate you must have sex. For some people this can be a startling point but it is a very true one.
Marriage does not mean sex and sleeping together. In fact there are many successful marriages where there has been no sex or only a bit at the beginning of the relationship.
What is very factual is the realness that many couples do not share the same bed. With a couple of my peers we decided to run a little experiment. Rather than asking about sex we kept our questions to only if couples shared the same bed. The sex question was voluntarily answered without asking.
Between four of us we asked around sixty people, some we knew and others were random. All of us were amazed at how candid some people were about this question. Between us we were only collectively abused for asking the question twice, not bad considering the amount of different people we approached. We were up front that we did not belong to any group or company but rather doing our own poll. People were very receptive and talkative. One woman in particular was married to a man in his 70’s she was seemingly young around mid 30’s. Initially they had sex and she fell pregnant and had a son, after the birth she no longer had sex or slept in the same room. She told us it suited him as well because he was too old for that stuff and it suited her because she had a son and didn’t have to share her husband’s bed. The arrangement was rather a mutual one, he lived comfortably with a clean house and someone to cook for him while he enjoyed his young son and she enjoyed the life of the western culture, she being an Asian. Apparently this is a common story.
It was not only Western/Asian mixes but also two of the same culture and age range. In fact we found our results very interesting.
Our results were 68% of the couples no longer slept in the same bed and even separate rooms. That was a much greater result than we all expected. Perhaps it was the locations we choose and maybe that result would be different elsewhere.
What we gained from our little poll is that sleeping together is not the norm and therefore if you are reading this and you felt you wanted to make a change too then know you are not alone.